G.A.B.B.

If you've never seen the show, the first three minutes almost invariably involve someone finding a body. After more than a decade of the show, the bit seems increasingly contrived, but sometimes these things do happen:

A jogger, whose identity was not released by police, was running through the sprawling Mount Peace Cemetery on Aqueduct Street at around 6:15 a.m. when she found the body and called authorities.

I got hip to this because we saw a Channel 5 news truck parked at Mount Peace cemetary yesterday, for a reporter stand-up. I've also found out that a relative knows the jogger (who is a he, not a she, by the way.) He is fairly shaken by the incident. Mount Peace is in a fairly safe area of the city, and Akron is not New York and in any event, life isn't supposed to be a TV crime show.

Meanwhile, this case already looks bizarre, even by the standards of Akron's increasinly gothic murders:

From about 40 feet away, Long said he could see the woman's body on its back with the hands clasped together and resting on the abdomen. She was fully clothed in a jean skirt and buttoned blouse. She wore no shoes or socks.

Her body was positioned in front of a headstone reading "Bliss'' and placed under a large tree located along the far eastern tier of the 90-acre cemetery, the city's second oldest.

"She was in a position like somebody laid her there and placed her on her back,'' Long said. "The way she was laying, it just looked as if she was posed.''

There is no way for this to end well. In fact, it seems unlikely the back story will be anything less than high-end creepy. Thoughts and prayers for the (still) anonymous victim and her family.